Monday, 19 September 2016

How To Transform An Unfortunate Situation Into A Fortunate Experience


I looked up towards a family member with me at the time and we both started to giggle. My hands holding two pieces of broken glass, a perfect accompaniment to the red cheeks on my face.

A wave of both fear and amusement crept over me.

Fear of the unknown, what may or may not lie ahead... and amusement because, really what were the chances.

It was just too funny.

This experience during the summer made me think about authenticity. How being AUTHENTIC can lead to wondrous rewards, even if initially it can feel shameful, embarrassing and/or fearful of uncertainty.

I knew in that moment, standing there in the shop with a cracked glass picture frame in hand, I had TWO choices...

1) To place the glass to one side and move along, not saying anything out of fear of what might happen if I did.


2) Own up, be authentic and aligned with my values, willing to accept any consequences that may occur.

Broken down, it was simply a choice of connecting with either FEAR or LOVE.

This also ties in with a recent NLP class I taught a few weeks ago, discussing the huge topic of Life Purpose with group members. One of the definitions that came to mind was...

"To connect with what brings us happiness and joy (in a healthy, fulfilling way)... being AUTHENTIC and aligned with our values". 

This can help us create direction and connect with our life purpose. 

If we value LOVE in our life, by acting in alignment with this value can bring great fulfillment and rewards. For example by being loving to ourselves and others whilst maintaining and respecting boundaries.

If we value CONNECTION, again, acting in alignment with this can open up wondrous experiences in our life. For example, prioritising moments of true connection with others, whether that be physically with a partner, through conversation, presence and/or support.

What do you value in your life? 
And are you acting in alignment with those values? 
If not, how can you create more alignment in your daily life? 

One of my personal values is authenticity, which is why I automatically felt called to go straight to the shop owner and confess what had happened. It was something I had to do as the more I intend to connect with authenticity in my life, the more painful being inauthentic is. 

I simply can't do it. 

The best thing was, after confessing about the accident I wasn't charged and was even given a free picture frame mount in return. 

Situation transformed!

Being authentic is allowing ourselves (without judgement) to be bold, and colourful if we wish. Trusting and giving ourselves the space to simply be who we want with flexibility, so we can change priorities and values to what resonates if needed.

As we grow throughout life, so may our values. That's perfectly ok. And as we go through new experiences our priorities can change.

Being authentic is a continuous practice of paying attention to ourselves and what's important to us in each moment... living our day to day life with the intention to resonate with alignment with what we truly value and what feels right.

Now it's your turn! If you were to know, what are some of your top values in life? You can discover this by considering all areas of your life from relationships, to career to spirituality etc... what is important for you in each category? e.g. intimacy, success, connection...

Pick one value, and brainstorm how you can bring in more of that into your life over the next few weeks. For example, someone may say intimacy is key in relationships, therefore they may intend to open up, share, be vulnerable with loved ones even more so to help create more intimacy. 

Notice how this can TRANSFORM any challenges you may be facing the more you connect and align yourself with your values.

Using the comment section below, hold yourself accountable and state what you'll start doing and when to experience these shifts. 

Have a friend feeling lost and in need of a helping hand? Offer them some support and share this post. How can you guide each other in being even more authentic and aligned with what you find in important in life? 

If you'd like to be the first to receive these monthly insights, and receive a FREE Boosting Self-Esteem kit too, head on over to my WEBSITE where you can sign up for positive change.

Tuesday, 23 August 2016

How To REALLY Let Hurt Go... 5 Steps To Emotional Freedom

"There's always a reason" we hear people say.

A positive intention behind every behaviour.

Yes, that's right, you heard it here first - binging on chocolate may actually serving you at some level. Whether that level is good for your long term well-being, is another question!

In excess it may create unwanted, unhealthy side affects, though if there was no gain whatsoever (positive intention) even if you're not aware of it consciously,  you wouldn't do it in the first place.

Same goes for running from committed relationships, working all hours until you are burnt out, excessive Facebook scrolling (yes I've been guilty at times too!) and even snapping at a loved ones.

There's always a hidden positive intention.

So how can someone being mean to another or drinking excessively until it creates alcoholism be a positive thing?

Surely it's negative right?

First of all we need to differentiate between BEHAVIOUR and INTENTION. Behaviour is the by product, the action taken. Intention is the unconscious (and sometimes conscious) meaning, beliefs and drive of what the search is all about.

I was talking about this with a dear friend recently who was worried about a family member, trying hard not to take things personally...

"Respond to her, not her behaviour." I said.

In other words realise that deep down behind the masks, the layers, the fears and doubts which influence behaviour... there is something so much more.

Deep, deep within there is a living spark, an energy, pure love, light, a Soul... whatever you wish to call it. This is the true essence within and whilst maintaining your values and self-respect you can connect to others from this perspective. 

When we are on the receiving end of hurtful behaviour it can be all too easy to slip into a fearful egotistical battle of who's right and who's wrong, forgetting that deep down virtually everyone simply wants to feel loved. Even if some tend to go about it in a rather funny way!

Respect yourself and others and connect to love rather than  fear. Be the one to change the pattern,  and notice what transforms.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm by no means perfect. 

It's through my many slip ups, mistakes and observations that I learn what can help both myself and clients too. As I continue this journey, I have noticed more and more the lack of desire to take part in the battle of who is right or wrong. Sure I have my opinions, and I am passionate about what I believe in... I just recognise the benefit of letting it go too when needed.

Talking of letting it go - how on earth do we do that?

I've read so many articles and books over the years where authors state 'just let it go'. Before I learnt the NLP and Self-Awareness techniques I now know, I always responded with... "but HOW?"

If we've been hurt, HOW do we let it go? Easier said than done right?

So what's the magic formula?

5 Steps To REALLY Let Hurt Go


You've probably heard the phrase 'What you resist, persists' right? Emotions are simply energy-in-motion and acknowledging how we truly feel first without judgement is the fastest way to start letting things go.

Give yourself time and space first to gently express how you feel. One way that I often recommend clients to do this is by using the 'I feel...' page that I created (grab your FREE download here).

This exercise was invaluable for me too going through a relationship breakup last year. Completely heartbroken, it gave me an effective outlet in the grieving process, helping to steadily climb my way out of the black hole that I felt had surrounded me at the time.


Set your intention for how you want to feel and experience life... focusing on what you WANT rather than what you don't. This, in conjunction with the other steps helps to create direction and clarity. It also tells your RAS, a part of your brain connected with filtering how you experience life what you really want to experience thus affecting that outcome.

Focus on what you want, and the direction you want to go in.


You've probably heard me mention many times Tony Robbin's famous line of  "If life happens FOR us rather than to us, what can we learn here?". There's a point... it helps us to find meaning in painful situations and as 'A Man's Search For Meaning' Author, Victor Frankl stated in his best selling book - when people find meaning they can get through anything. This is where the looking beyond people's behaviour as I mentioned earlier in this post and finding the positive intention can work wonders.

What is really going on here? 

What can I learn here?

How can this experience help me reconnect with my true self within even further? 


When you come from the perspective of 'we're just Souls experiencing a physical life' or 'we're simply living breathing human being's, all looking to feel love and belonging' (however some people may go about it!) it can be a lot easier to connect to a compassionate and loving view of that person.

I have also found that remembering that each and every person just like myself at some point in their life has felt alone, hurt and struggling. Those moments where I have felt at my lowest, others have also felt that too. This is one way I quickly and naturally connect to the humble human connection recognising that we're all the same. This can quickly transform into compassion for others when connected to this perspective. 

After finding meaning (as I mention in step 3) allow this to transform into feeling gratitude for what you have learnt from that experience. By doing so, this helps to connect to the vibration of love and send it toward the other person involved, thanking them for the deep lesson. Energetically when we connect to love, things can heal much faster.


And this is key that most people forget.

Our unconscious mind controls much more than we think... some Scientists say up to 99% of what we do is influenced by our unconscious so if we don't make the necessary changes at an neurological level, sometimes the healing process can take much, much longer than we anticipated. That's not to say you can't heal at all by only working on things consciously... its possible, as everything is connected. Though to create quick long lasting results, techniques like NLP can be wonderful, effective tools for change. Making sure that at all levels your beliefs, emotions and behaviours are congruent and aligned. If we don't remove the negative attachments, patterns can repeat again, and again.

It's like having storeroom filled with food and supplies... if you don't remove that rotten onion at the back of the basket, the bad smell with continue to remain present no matter how much you try to freshen the air!

You can find more information on this blog about how to work with the unconscious mind, attend one of my classes or sign up for personal coaching sessions... 

Now it's over to you!  

Which of these 5 steps did you find most useful and why? Using the comment section below I'd love to hear your shares.

Have a friend going through a challenging time? Offer them a helping hand and forward on this post.

If you'd like to be the first to receive these monthly insights, and receive a FREE Boosting Self-Esteem kit too, head on over to my WEBSITE where you can sign up for positive change.

Wednesday, 20 July 2016

7 Life Lessons I've Learned from NLP...

The last 4 and a half years have been a HUGE journey. 

I have laughed, cried, and found meaning to seemingly hopeless situations. Walked barefoot over hot coals, and completely changed the direction of my life. 

It's not been easy.  

And there were many times I felt like giving up.

Though, through perseverance and by using NLP professionally to help others on a regular basis, my whole world has expanded.

Years ago, when I first stepped into that training room on day one, nervously anticipating what would come... little did I know how far this journey would take me. 

And I'm not necessarily talking about achievements either. 

I was completely unaware how far it would take me into a deeper understanding and awareness of myself and others. 

Among all the insights since becoming a NLP Coach, there are a few key things I discovered along the way. Mostly through trial and error... and a few unfortunate circumstances.

For your benefit, I've translated these insights into Life Lessons so it's applicable to everyone, as not everyone want's to be a Coach... it's a tough job at times!

7 Life Lessons...

People will change if they really want to change, and if they don't desire that change, don't force it. 

I learnt this the hard way and now know to respect loved ones personal choice. Whilst I market my work online (I feel it's my duty to do so, to keep it accessible if people are interested and in need of support), I just now place it in a common space where people can choose to connect if they want to know more. With friends and family I talk about what I'm passionate about though I steer clear if I sense they're are not interested. 

This is true too for coaching clients... there is no point doing sessions if a client doesn't want to put in some input and experience the change!

We also have a choice on how we live our life and respond to situations. We can choose to take action, accept personal responsibility for our life, or choose to continue living a dis-empowered life blaming others for our misfortunes. 

It's our choice.

Life Lesson: In every situation, even if  you initially feel otherwise, you have a choice on how you live your life and how you respond to events.

We are so resilient, more than we know, and NLP as much as anything has been a tool to remember this. To clear away the cobwebs and 'see' what is really within. A huge potential, spark and light within each and everyone of us. It's a series of tools and techniques to remember who we truly are.

In challenging moments, ask yourself... 

'Am I focusing on the problem? Or what I can do about it?' 
'Am I focused on failures, inner critic and imperfections? Or am I focused on my strengths and resources within?'

Life Lesson: You are more than a million times better, stronger, and lovable than you think. Focus on your strengths and solutions will appear. 

Your external world is a reflection of your inner world. Clients can be excellent mirrors in that sense however it is VITAL in being the best Coach that you continue working on yourself so not to project 'your stuff' onto them. Personally, by looking deeper within over the years I finally understood the 'why' behind fears and beliefs I used to hold, almost like a light bulb being switched on in a dark room... now everything is clear about any pain and suffering I endured.

Life Lesson: Every single moment, no matter how painful is an opportunity to gain deeper understanding about ourselves and others... and through this understanding comes healing.

Becoming a NLP Coach, has taught me to be courageous. To step out of my comfort zone and to start before I felt ready. I remember during the first few practice sessions with case studies years ago, I was terrified. Hearing an endless spew from my Inner Critic on why 'I wasn't good enough' which really was only trying to keep me within my comfort zone, safe and protected out of fear of rejection and danger.

Looking back I am so glad I made the conscious choice to continue regardless. Often when we experience the doing of something, that very process builds confidence in the said activity. 

Life Lesson: If you wait until you feel ready, even if its something you really want to do, not only do you miss out on a great learning experience, other people miss out too. 

I can't count how many times I have met individuals who have done NLP qualifications (or other for that matter), proudly stating who they studied with... yet still fail to grasp the number 1 key of NLP. 

It doesn't give you the desired shifts if you don't use it! 

If you want to experience shifts, start attending practice evenings like the one HERE in Barcelona, find a Coach or practice the techniques yourself... and keep going until you achieve the results you want. 

Knowledge is useful, though wisdom through experiencing it first hand is priceless.

Life Lesson: There's no failure... only feedback. Use what you learn and keep going, try different practical approaches until you get the results you want. You are closer than you think.

This phrase always makes me giggle. A late University teacher once told me this, as I was starting out my Textile Design training many years ago before I chose my current path. To be a great Artist or Designer, you need to be observant. 

Inspiration is everywhere. 

In other words... "Be a Magpie looking for those shiny objects" he said. 

NLP is an ongoing learning curve. Being a Master Practitioner doesn't mean that you have mastered everything and cease to learn... in my eyes it simply means that you have mastered the art of being connected to that curious mindset. 'I wonder what is really going on here', discovering the deeper meaning as I previously mentioned... and being open to learning more, expanding on techniques and related topics both for yourself and your clients.

Life Lesson: It's out there... if you look for it, you can find it.

That grey matter inside your skull is one of the most powerful tools you have. I always knew the mind had a huge influence on our lives, though after my trainings and experiencing this first hand both through Firewalk's, healing small physical ailments and much more... I can now see I hugely underestimated the value of my mind before. Our beliefs and mindset play a huge role in our life experience. 

If you say to yourself repeatedly 'I'm bad, I'm stupid, I'm ugly, I'm not worthy...' how does your body respond? Often muscles start to tense and we adopt a body posture that closes in and withdraws. 

Whereas if we were to state the opposite 'I'm good, I'm intelligent, I'm beautiful, I'm worthy...' how does your body react differently? Do you notice an increased sense of lightness, ease in breath or feel more relaxed? Or perhaps you may notice your body posture starting to open up?

These changes can be subtle at first, though by trying this out you can literally feel the results of how your mind can affect your physical reality. 

Life Lesson: The mind has more influence on our life experience than many can imagine. The grass is greener where you water it! 

Now its your turn... using the comment section below, which of these 7 Life Lessons most resonated with you most and why? I'd love to hear your shares and perhaps your share can help inspire others too.

Have a friend that may find this useful? Offer them a helping hand and share this blog post.

Find out more: Sign up to my newsletter HERE and receive monthly motivation emails, plus news and information that I only send by email... oh and FREE gift too!

Tuesday, 21 June 2016

This Could Transform Your Day...

The mind is very quick. 

It likes to jump around, explore, reflect, question and create stories about ourselves. 
It also likes to generate endless things to do. Especially if you're creative like me... the formation of ideas can be endless.

This practical tool I'm about to share with you (FREE download included too!) can transform the way you structure your days. It can boost Self-Esteem and ease off pressure. 

Something so simple, yet it works. 

We have a powerful mind to think with, emotions to bring colour to life and a physical body to help us experience physical life on Earth. Learning to embrace our humanness is a beautiful thing. Deep down though, we are, at the essence of it all, energy as Albert Einstein famously quoted...

"Everything is energy. Matter is energy, energy is light... we are light beings" 
Albert Einstein

We know from Einstein and many scientific studies that within everything you can find this energy. Liquids, gases and solids all contain energy and each vibrates at a different speed to create the form that it has. Solids vibrate much more slowly compared to a gas… which is why we can grasp hold of an object and see it. The same goes for us. Our physical body, our mind and emotions all vibrate at different speeds.

On a vibrational level the mind is much quicker than the physical body; it forgets to take into account the physical body’s need for more time to do things. 

Notice this... 
If I ask you to close your eyes right now and go to a tranquil beach, noticing the sights, sounds and sensations of that beautiful beach, your mind is already there right?

If you focus on that image long enough, feelings and emotions will then start to bubble up too relating to that beach. Your emotional body is a little slower than the mind yet still quicker than the physical body. 

Your physical body on the other hand hasn’t traveled to the beach in those few seconds; you are still in the same current location physically. 

Here you can see how quick the mind is… it doesn’t have any limitations on where it can go or what it can do when you’re simply thinking about things. It can go anywhere and do anything in a split second. 

The side effects…
When we have hundreds of things to do, the mind can get carried away… thinking that we can get everything done and we should get everything done. And by the end of the day when we don’t achieve everything (because the physical body needs more time to do things compared to the mind), feelings of disappointment, frustration and believing ‘I’m a failure’ are all too common.

"Arghh I didn't get __X__ done!"

"I'm useless, I can't do anything!"


This particular method I'm about to share with you helps to reduce all that negative chatter by listening to our physical body too. It’s still a wonderful way to organise our tasks, and personally out of all of the different 'To Do List' methods out there… this is the one that I have benefited from the most and helped to reduce overwhelm.

Tweet This: "Use the creativity & strength of your MIND, alongside intuitive guidance from your BODY" Emma Bradford

Recognising and respecting all parts of ourselves as we go through daily life towards our desired outcomes. 

Goodbye pressures!

Trust that you are exactly where you need to be right now and use the skills and knowledge around  you and within you to create a more harmonious life experience.

Try this... 
By transforming your to do list into a MIND/BODY list you can start to organise tasks in an easy and manageable way. Allow your mind to spill out everything it wants to get done on the left hand side column and then choose only 3 of the most important, urgent, necessary tasks and carry it over into the right hand side column. The right hand side column, 'The Body List' is your to do list for the day. 

That's it.

If you have plenty of time spare afterwards and are feeling up to doing a few extra things you can choose one or two extra tasks from the left hand side column. If that's the case notice how great you feel knowing that you already did the 3 most important and necessary tasks!

By reducing the list significantly you can ease of off pressure and remind yourself to check in with how you feel physically each day. Helping you to respect your physical body even more, avoiding burnout and built up stress.

Until next time, wishing you a fabulous month ahead!

Now over to you...
Download your list using the link above and let me know in the comments below...

  • What changes as you adopt this new way of organising your day? 
  • How do you feel at all levels... mentally, emotionally and physically? 

Have a friend that is struggling with overwhelm, pushing themselves too hard or needs a hand with organisation? Forward this blog post and offer them a helping hand.

For more tips, tools and life stories sign up to my monthly newsletter HERE.
FREE boosting self-esteem kit with mp3 audios for each subscriber.

Thursday, 26 May 2016

Have You Said This Too?

We often underestimate the power of them.

They're so powerful in fact, that I even experienced physical symptoms from them.

Dizzy, light headed and sometimes even nausea.* Spending years not knowing what was going on when strange unexplained symptoms popped up.

I was so frustrated. And that frustration just made it worse.

After many years of consulting health care professionals and digging deep emotionally and mentally within... it turned out that the majority of the time after these unexplained symptoms arose, I had been using hurtful and pressuring words towards myself.

That's right... words.

Words have an immense power to affect us emotionally, physically and mentally. Not only do they help us to communicate, form specific languages, express different sounds that vibrate through the air so to be heard by ourselves and others.

They are also powerful creators.

And we don't even need to speak them out loud to be affected by them. We can simply think them and the effects can be felt. 

When I first learned NLP, things started to piece together. How we talk to ourselves and about ourselves, the words we choose and the those that form beliefs... create our life experience. Something I always knew intuitively, though until I actually felt the vibrational difference of words it was only a concept.

I entered an eye opening reality. Discovering how I could empower myself and others, or put others down, how I could feel calm and centered or how I could feel bouts of nausea. I had the complete control whether I chose to believe and accept it or not. And this is the same for everyone else.

I was reminded of this recently, flicking through Spanish TV channels one evening seeing if there was anything 'edible' (as my Mother says!) when I stumbled upon a talent contest. Not the greatest quality show though it's certainly entertaining once in a while.

One vibrant, full of energy contestant caught my attention. Not only was she beaming with life, it was how she introduced herself that really made me stop and think.

"Hi my name is_______, and I am _______ years young"

Wait a minute, what did she say?

"I am ____ years YOUNG".


In society, the way we talk, phrases and words are often used without a second thought. We talk about how old we are... and feel bad about our age. If words and beliefs create our reality then perhaps this vibrant contestant was beaming because of how she CHOSE to represent herself?

Observing others, we can learn a lot. We can also discover a great wealth of insights by noticing our self talk.

And often that's where we really let loose!

The Inner Critic spills out endless should's, must's, have to's without a second thought. And many don't realise that these words have a HUGE impact on our emotional and mental health... and as I found out, physical well-being too.

What I did when I felt an unexplained symptom, was to trace back my thoughts and notice what I had just said to myself a few seconds before... 99% of the time there was the word Should.

SHOULD brings a sense of pressure, a sense of have to, must do, need to. A sense receiving orders with a heavy feeling, placing ourselves into small constricting boxes. Especially with regards to a task we don't want to do.

Now if we change this into something more empowering... such as could, notice the difference...

COULD brings a sense of possibility, opportunity, and optimism. A lighter feeling of expansion as you give yourself an option. You could do that task, however its not a demand. Even if its about something that we do need to do, simply by talking and thinking about it using the word could helps to ease the pressure of the said task.

Awareness is the first step to making a change. 

Every time I noticed unexplained physical symptoms, I back-tracked my thoughts. If I had used the word should (which quite often I had!) I simply restated the sentence to myself again exchanging the word Should for Could. And just by doing this, symptoms alleviated significantly which taught me about the immense power words have on our mental, emotional and physical health. 


Like a weight being lifted off my shoulders, fog clearing and a great sense of relief.

How to exchange dis-empowering words for empowering ones...

"I intend to lose weight" or "I am loosing weight" rather than "I'm trying to lose weight"

"I'm being showered with gifts" other than "I'm being spoiled with gifts"
"I can give it a go" in exchange for "I can't do it because of_____"
"I could do_______" or "I choose to do_____" in replacement of "I should do______"

If our thoughts and words create our reality then surely using more empowering words can help us into greater positive experience right?

Now I encourage you to notice the words you choose this week and ask yourself this...

When are you most critical of yourself? (What are you doing/not doing, thinking/saying... what are your surroundings at the time?)

And when are you least critical of yourself? (What are you doing/not doing, thinking/saying... what are your surroundings at the time?)

What do these answers tell you? What are the differences between the two?

Finally, let me know in the comment section below what differences you notice when you purposely use the word should and when you use the word could... what changes?

Until next time, wishing you a wonderful month ahead!

Sharing can be caring...

Have a friend that would find this useful? Share this blog post now and offer a helping hand.

FREE GIFT: Want to be the first to receive these posts plus extra bonus information that I only send by email? Sign up to my monthly newsletter here and receive a FREE Creative Meditation Kit to boost your Self-Esteem even further.

*This is help communicate how our language can affect us at all levels. Knowing this can help improve our well-being. Please remember that for serious health concerns always seek a trusted health care professional and get reoccurring symptoms checked out.

Thursday, 21 April 2016

3 Factors That Keep You Dis-Empowered & How To Break Free

Those of you who follow my page on Facebook might have noticed.

It wasn't the smoothest of rides.

Though as with most things there is always a silver lining.

Yes, this beach in the picture below looks idyllic. I literally drunk coconuts every day for nearly two weeks. Mmm my favourite!

It was also HOT. 

So hot that you had to walk at half the speed you normally do. Sweat dripping constantly only to find relief when your face was pressed against a cool, peppermint, flannel during a Thai foot massage.

Yes Thailand!

One of my favourite countries and with people so warm that their friendly smiles are recognised as a national treasure. The 'land of smiles' as they say. And don't even get me started on the food! ;-)

What this photo doesn't show though is the journey in getting there. 

It was a looong trip with nearly 8 hours worth of delayed flights. Apparently it only rains one or two days a year in Dubai, or so I heard. It just so happened that the day we transferred flights in Dubai there was torrential rain putting the majority of flights on hold.

You see the thing is, experiences happen and its our response and how we choose to view things that make a HUGE difference to our life enjoyment.

In reality they are simply just experiences. 

We are the ones attaching meanings to events. We are creating these stories within our mind. And if pessimistic outlooks and stories are left to linger these can affect our emotional well-being significantly.

This journey was in fact a blessing. After two nights of not much sleep at all, I arrived to Bangkok and much to my surprise I had no jet lag as I had dealt with it all on route. I was able to slip into the local timezone easily without side affects at all.

Therefore more time to really enjoy Thailand. Yes!

These experiences can also give us memories, stories (blog posts!) and opportunities to learn. This journey made me aware of 3 important factors we often overlook. 3 things that keep us stuck, dis-empowered and as a victim to so called 'bad luck'.*

Tweet: "How we choose to view events determines how we experience events." Emma Bradford

FIRST: When you see a picture, a selfie, an image in a magazine... know that it doesn't always tell you the full story. This is especially important if you regularly compare your life and body to others. As the famous quote goes...

"Don't compare your backstage with some else's show reel" Steve Furtick

I cannot count the amount of clients, especially women who came to sessions with negative feelings and beliefs their body - feeling shameful and regularly wishing they had what others have. Especially when browsing social media. Remind yourself... these pictures are not the full story. 

Choose to empower yourself instead.

SECOND: Ask yourself... what meaning am I attaching to this event? Start separating the simple facts apart from any emotional labels and limiting beliefs that you may have placed on top. The more we focus on the latter, the more that situation will be an emotional trauma for us. 

For example... two young women go to a bar. Woman A attracts more male attention than Woman B. Woman B might start believing that men hate her (notice the negative story/meaning attachment). What could be more true is she may have already been giving herself negative self talk previously. In front of the mirror, getting changed, comparing herself to her friend in the lead up to entering the bar. By the time she arrived to the bar, her emotional state and physiology was reflecting the negative self view, which also determined her behaviour too. As they say... 93% of what we communicate is non-verbal. 

Observe what meanings you attach... are you attaching meanings that are empowering or dis-empowering? 

THIRD: Challenge yourself to find the positive learning in all situations. This is not to mean that you need to suppress your emotions and 'always be happy' everything is always great. No. We are human, we have a rainbow of emotions and these valleys and peaks add colour to life. Allow yourself to feel, notice, observe... and then learn from the event by finding the blessing in disguise. If we don't, we remain stuck as a victim, dis-empowered and fearful.

What we experience, quite often is not as bad as we think. 

Whilst I was beyond tired, the great comedy and meditations on flight kept me happy and occupied during the journey. And after hearing news of terrorist attacks in Europe just hours after I landed back in Spain, my journey seemed totally insignificant in compassion. So grateful to be ALIVE.

I invite you today...

If you are experiencing something uncomfortable, how can you view that differently?

And if life happens FOR you, rather than to you what can you learn here?

I first heard this last question a few years ago and it really made me think. Its a wonderful way to quickly shift our perspective from being the 'victim' to an empowered student of life.

Now I'd love to hear from you!

After asking yourself the questions above, what have you learnt as a result? Using the comment section below I'd love to hear your shares. And you never know, it may help someone else too in a similar situation as they read the shares.

Until next time, wishing you a wonderful month ahead!

Sharing is caring...

Have a friend that would find this useful? Share this blog post now and offer a helping hand.

FREE GIFT: Want to be the first to receive these posts plus extra bonus information that I only send by email? Sign up to my monthly newsletter here and receive a FREE Creative Meditation Kit to boost your Self-Esteem even further.

NEW WORKSHOP: 'How To Transform Your Inner Critic Into Your Inner Cheerleader' Saturday May 14th 2016... get your Earlybird discount here.

*To read more on what I think of Luck click here.

Monday, 28 March 2016

One Important Key To Finding What You Want

It was a few summers ago when I experienced this, a great reminder many people overlook.

A fundamental point that has the ability to significantly change your life experience, and if ignored can lead to all sorts of lengthy detours and challenges.

That summer I was discovering the sites and wonders that Cataluña has to offer... enjoying the fresh, clean, forest air.

Ahhh... the perfect antidote to busy, entrepreneurial life.

Crystal clear streams to cool down from the Spanish sun, followed by tranquil picnic spots to unwind after a long day exploring.

During this trip, my road trip partner and I were excitedly preparing for a summer barbecue, we had the coals, the food, now we just needed a site.*

"We'd like to find a BBQ site please!" we eagerly stated out loud - as we often did. 

Hungry and raring to go we drove through a little town and asked some locals. They pointed, we followed, only to find the site was closed and no BBQ's were allowed.

Onto the next.

Adventure filled road trip for sure.

The next site we found had facilities however the locals clearly stated we had to ask permission, book the space before hand and the person in charge was unavailable at the moment. We had found a space but we couldn't use it. Hmmm thinking to myself, something started to click within.

"OK... we'd like to find a BBQ site that is available to use this evening".

The search continued, both being typical Taurus, we weren't giving up that easily!

Next stop: There was an available site, but also a huge derelict building right next to it. The space was filthy, broken glass, stray cats... it looked like something from a horror film in the diminishing evening light. Not inviting at all.

"OK! We'd like to find a BBQ site that is available to use this evening, comfortable, clean and welcoming!" 

At this point we were both laughing, realising what had been preventing our success up until now.

Sometimes we think we are putting the message 'out there' for what we want... when in reality we are giving mixed messages or simply just being too vague. We may know that critical thinking, fears and doubts can hinder the manifesting process, however, what many often forget is that not being SPECIFIC is a major factor too. 

In this case, it was the later and this adventure was a wonderful reminder. We had simply been looking for 'BBQ site'. We found spaces, just not what we really wanted.

Our RAS (Reticular Activating System), a part of the brain that helps to bring things to our awareness was looking for something vague as that was all we had stated. RAS, a filter between the unconscious and conscious... a fundamental part of the brain for goal setting. More on the RAS here.

If we desire something, and we are not clear on what we really want... it can lead us down all sorts of adventure filled experiences. Whilst that can be fun, sometimes it can take us much longer to achieve that desired outcome.

Look at it this way: 

If you want to enjoy great health, regulate your natural weight, boost self esteem, love your body etc answer the following...

1) What SPECIFICALLY are you looking for?

E.g.) 'I want to be healthy enough to do __X__' (not just 'I want to be healthy'... notice the difference?)

2) Where and when would you like that? (What specific day and time?) 

E.g.) I want to be healthy enough to do ___X___ by ____'

3) How will you know when you achieve that? (What will you see, hear, and feel?) 

E.g.) 'When I am healthy enough to do __X__ by ___ I will see____, hear____ and feel____'

The clearer the desire within your focus, the clearer the message that goes to you RAS, therefore the more likely that outcome will occur. Your RAS does not know that difference between reality and imagined experiences. It doesn't even know the difference between limiting beliefs and true helpful beliefs. It simply acts like a faithful dog running after the ball its master has thrown. So feed it clear, positive direction by doing the following...

  • Visualise: Imagine your desired outcome as a movie scene including all the desired details and sensory information (what you will see, hear and feel).
  • Positive Language: Talk about your desired outcome using positive, reinforcing language both with yourself and others. For example, 'I am losing weight' not 'I am trying to lose weight but it never seems to shift' the later reinforces 'I am not losing weight' to your RAS... which in turn keeps that experience in your reality. 
  • Consistent Action: Take small, consistent actionable steps towards your desired outcome to strengthen and reinforce the direction you wish to go in.
  • Reprogram The Unconscious Mind: Clear up any opposing, negative beliefs that may be stored unconsciously. More on removing limiting beliefs here.

And you'll be pleased to know, on that trip we managed to enjoy some delicious BBQ's, in gorgeous spots despite the initial detours!

Now I’d love to hear from you...

What SPECIFIC desired outcome would you like to experience and what first step can you can take towards achieving that? 

Using the comment section below, schedule it now and holding yourself accountable. It is scientifically proven that those who write goals down, and do the necessary steps above are over 95% more likely to achieve them. Yes really! So the real question is, how much do you really want it? ;-)

I look forward to reading your comments, until next time, wishing you a fabulous month ahead.

Sharing is caring...

Have a friend that would find this useful? Share this blog post now via Facebook, twitter or by email and offer a helping hand.

FREE GIFT: Want to be the first to receive these posts plus extra bonus information that I only send by email? Sign up to my monthly newsletter here and receive a FREE Guided Visualisation mp3 to boost your Self-Esteem even further.

*Because of forest fires and the Spanish heat there are specific locations for enjoying BBQ's.

Thursday, 25 February 2016

Feeling Fearful? Try This...

I was reminded of this a few weeks ago.

Chatting to my NLP teacher and her partner… I realised the giant leap I had made.

4 years ago whilst standing in her training room, my first ever NLP course, the fear of public speaking was making an appearance yet again. Something I struggled with throughout school, college, university and even as an assistant manager in London.

I hated it.

Often hiding behind pieces of paper that I would hold, shaking and whispering words so quiet no one could hear me. The exercise at the time was to create a story in groups to teach the names of the planets in a memorable and entertaining way. I somehow managed escape most of it, assigning myself the role of ‘Chief Artist’ saying the bare minimum by drawing all the diagrams on the board instead.

Much more enjoyable I thought! Funny too, as there were only 4 people in the room… I was that terrified.

Avoidance, however, doesn’t help you improve things.

And the satisfaction I have felt since by acknowledging and facing my fears totally outweighs the 5 minutes sketching a comic strip on the board.

Sometimes when taking a moment chatting to others about our journey we realise how much things have transformed. Take a moment to consider…

  • Is there an area of your life you used to really struggled with and now you find much easier?
  • What did you learn about this on the journey to success?

With regards to public speaking, I started step by step by holding myself accountable and scheduling weekly talks. The first ever meetup I held over 3 years ago was in a small bar in Raval, Barcelona, with just 3 people. With support and encouragement both from myself* and members this became easier and easier. Also by removing limiting beliefs and using light hypnotic language to tell my unconscious everything will be ok helped to transform that area even further.

4 keys to moving from FEAR to SUCCESS effectively...

Social Accountability - Schedule that event before you feel ready, hold yourself accountable.
Practice - Practice, practice, practice... there is no failure, only feedback!
Support - Open up to finding and receiving support from both yourself and others.
Removing unconscious barriers - Find the unconscious root cause and remove it with love.

Fast forward 4 years from my first NLP training, and I now teach weekly classes on NLP and Self Awareness techniques to large groups, largest being 45+ people! Whilst there is room for improvement and each week I learn more and more… the transformation from what I used to be like to now, has been quite humbling. I would not be where I am today if it wasn’t for my NLP training and desire to share these invaluable tools.

Tweet: "If you're Finding Excuses And Reasons why you can't... you're keeping yourself in the FEAR zone." Emma Bradford

If we allow it, fear can take hold on us we may even try to shove everything under the carpet to avoid the pain.

Though by doing so, the crap often spills out anyway.

For example, by ignoring a fear of rejection it can manifest as a bad habit or illness the more we suppress it. It is simply the emotion's way of shouting for our attention. Ignore it, and it will find another way to get your attention. 

By observing how you feel with kindness and dealing with the root cause creates long lasting results. This is what I do with clients, with the combination of them…

1) Accepting personal responsibility for their life, willing to participate during a program of sessions e.g.)  showing up and doing a few super quick reinforcement NLP exercises between sessions if required.

2) A desire to experience change with the support and skills provided.

And I as their NLP coach help them to…

3) Find and heal the root cause by reprogramming their unconscious and create a more compelling future.

Together we can create significant results as we don’t treat the symptoms, we treat the root cause. If you want to hear what my clients really think you can click here.

In the meantime I encourage you to consider…

  • Is there something in your life that you find challenging and often avoid?
  • What have you been looking to feel or gain by not dealing with that fear directly? 
  • And what are you losing as a result of this behaviour?
  • Take a moment to notice how stepping into that, owning the experience and saying yes to change can bring so much more joy in the years to come when you overcome that fear. Better than avoidance, right?

I’d love to hear from you!

Using the comment section, what area of your life will you apply the 4 keys (Social accountability, practice, support and working with your unconscious mind)? When will you start doing that? Schedule it now and hold yourself accountable noticing the transformation that follows when you take action.

Or is there something else that has helped you improve an area in your life? If so feel free to share your experience and insights below. 

Until next time, wishing you a great month ahead!

Have a friend that would find this useful? Share this blog post now via Facebook, twitter or by email and offer a helping hand.

FREE GIFT: Want to be the first to receive these posts plus extra bonus information that I only send by email? Sign up to my monthly newsletter here and receive a FREE Guided Visualisation mp3 to boost your Self-Esteem even further.

* I encourage you, every time you step out of your comfort zone to give yourself kind words, a hug or a pat on the back. Positive reinforcement makes future steps so much easier!