Friday 25 September 2015

3 Common Hidden Desires Behind Emotional Food Cravings

Our emotional state is a powerful thing... especially if we allow it to guide us rather than learning from it and directing it.

It can make or break situations, propel us forward and try new things or make us want to hide away and avoid the world. 

It can help us manifest what we want or don't want.

It can also affect our relationship with food.

How often have we eaten more when we're stressed? How often have we felt low, down in the dumps or simply bored and can't seem to stop craving and/or eating certain foods?

Whilst yes, the physical body may guide you at times if its lacking certain vitamins or minerals and will do so by craving certain foods. What often happens though, is when we crave foods the actual food is not what we are really looking for. 

We can tell the difference between a physical need and emotional need by the nature of the situation. Tracing our thoughts and emotions back noticing how they developed as that food craving arose. We can ask ourselves...

What was I thinking and feeling before that craving occurred?

How am I feeling now as I crave that food? 

Some may notice that just before a food craving arose that there were feelings of boredom or a heavy emotional state for example. Notice the thoughts too... often there is 'negative' self-talk. Yes our thoughts create and influence how we feel! (More on emotions here). 

A question we can ask ourselves is...

"Hmm I wonder, what am I really craving?"

In many ways, NLP is above all a curious mindset. It puts us in the driving seat, helping us to become aware of so many choices and possibilities. It infuses curiosity about ourselves, others and life. 




An example of this curious mindset is when I was on the beach in Menorca. There were some unisex toilets, and a queue of people waiting assuming that 'shut door = its occupied'. Out of nowhere this little boy walked all the way to the front of the queue and opened the door to the toilet and stepped inside. It was empty after all much to the surprise of those in the queue! This is what I mean by the curiosity. Its a questioning, a wondering, and a childlike inquisitive mind discovering what is really going on in the situation (not what we assume is happening), what options are available and using that information to take action. 

Are we looking to feel a comforting emotion to help lift you out of the boredom and low mood? This is a common reason why many people crave certain foods that remind them of comforting times during childhood. They are simply trying to connect to that feeling.

Of course we can enjoy comfort food from time to time, and of course it's wonderful to reconnect with old recipes and dishes we used to love. What is unhelpful though is continuing a regular pattern of using food to feed us the emotions that we wish to feel. Especially if they are junk food items or foods that are unhelpful to our physical health. We'll feel rubbish about eating it afterwards if we do so on a regular basis and beat ourselves up about it. Not the most helpful action. Thus creating a continuous cycle of more emotional food cravings. 

So if we want to curb the cravings, we can use our inquisitive skills and ask ourselves... "Hmm I wonder, what am I really craving?" Because there is a hidden goal, a hidden positive intention. And quite often if we're feeling unhappy and unfulfilled, searching for comfort food, there are 1 or more of the 6 Basic Human Needs (especially the three in pink) that we are searching for unconsciously...

  1. Feeling a sense of Love, Belonging & Connection to others
  2. Feeling Significant and that we are recognised for things
  3. Having a sense of perceived Certainty, feeling safe and secure
  4. Experiencing a sense of Variety
  5. Feeling a sense of Growth as an individual
  6. Feeling that we are Contributing to the lives of others

Once we know what we're are really looking for, we can then brainstorm other ways to bring that feeling into our life, therefore helping to reduce the cravings for unhelpful foods. For emotional food cravings often it's when we feel alone, sad, rejected etc (looking for love and belonging), when we feel anxious uncertain (looking for comfort and a perceived sense of certainty) or when we feel bored (looking for a sense of variety, satisfaction, excitement and adventure in life). 

For example... if we find that what we're really looking to feel is a sense of perceived certainty, then we can find other ways to help us feel supported, safe and comfortable without using food. For example; creating the most comfortable environment we can at home or by calling a dear friend and asking for help during a time of uncertainty. CONSTRUCTIVE comfort rather than destructive comfort.

Another way to transform our emotional state is to bring our attention 100% to the present moment, breathe deeply, raise our arms up above our head, tilting the head up and closing our eyes as we continue to breathe and focus on our breath. Almost as if we have just won a race and someone captured a photo of us passing through the finish line as we truly felt that moment. This is a called a Power Pose and we can understand why it's called that as we bring it into our life on a regular basis. (For the science behind the pose click here).


Now its your turn. 

What are you really craving and how will you fulfil that need without using food? Use the space in the comment section below to state your new actions and kick start yourself into a healthier relationship with yourself and food.

Have a friend who is struggling with emotional food cravings or simply needs an extra boost of energy? Offer a helping hand and share this post. 

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