Sunday 28 January 2018

The Hidden Drive Behind The Inner Critic & Why Vulnerability Matters

Fearful Part: "Shouldn't do__x__ need to do __y__ uggh I'm so lazy!"

Loving Part Within: "Relax"

Fearful Part: "Look at everything that needs to get done, will never get all this done or done right, I'm so hopeless"

Loving Part Within: "Just be"

Fearful Part: "Everyone else can manage why can't I? What's wrong with me?"

Loving Part Within: "Breathe"

Fearful Part: "I feel_(alone/sad/angry/numb/depressed)_ why is everyone else happy and not me?"

Loving Part: "Connect"




How many of us have heard that fearful part, the Inner Critic's judgements before? And how many of us have experienced what I call the 'Inner Critic's Hangover'? In other words... the heavier emotional states that result from negative self-talk. 

I have. 

And so has virtually every client I've worked with. In fact, I'm sure every human being on this planet has had at least one moment of feeling low or experiencing negative self-talk at some point in their life... if not on a regular basis. To experience the variety of colour that emotions bring is natural. With many of these emotions created by previous thoughts we can create change if we desire. If we feel heavier states often we're simply experiencing the hangover of indulging in the Inner Critic's fears.

Taking a deeper look, we can ask ourselves...

What is the hidden drive for the fearful, criticising part - what is it really looking for? 
What does it believe? 
When did it first decide this?
What positive insights do we know now that we didn't know back then?

And if we aren't sure straight away... if we were to know, what would we discover?

Looking for love & belonging is a common hidden drive. Trying to perfect ourselves or show a mask as unconsciously perhaps we believe showing imperfections or vulnerability will lead to separation or abandonment. The thing is, many desire deeper meaning, belonging, happiness and fulfilment in life, yet we move through life with a mask, shielding ourselves from that very fulfilment we desire.

Ironic huh? 

Being authentic, showing our imperfections and vulnerability can lead to...

Connection
Innovation
Creativity
Acceptance
Strength
Courage
Understanding
Healing
Belonging
Companionship
Support

And SO much more. 

Without opening up, daring to be vulnerable, we miss out on SO much. I've been there - it can be lonely place if we remain stuck in the Inner Critic Hangover.


How can we really experience deep love and belonging if we only show a mask and remain connected to fears?

Step by step we can journey towards greater authenticity and love each day. 

Is it easy? Not always. 

It can feel scary moving out of the comfort zone, breaking free and being real. It can feel different to listen to that loving voice within rather than just the fears. It's even scarier though never allowing ourselves the gift of authenticity and love in life. 


Energetically speaking, 2018 among many things is a year of SUPPORT. To create support, give support and receive support.

For ourselves, others, and society.

So if we're going through a challenging time, it's time to reach out. Each and every one of us are so worthy of love and belonging.




Entering the shadow, finding the light (gifts) and coming out the other side. Because to only listen and live life according to fears of the shadow is to completely ignore the love and light. It's not choosing one or the other, its using both for the highest good.

Our fears (shadow part) help us appreciate our strength (light) deepen our awareness and understanding of ourselves/others/society. And the light is the strength within to find the gifts in the shadow.

Want more light in the world? 

It starts within. 


Now I'd love to hear from you!
What did you find most useful about this and what area will that help you with? Let me know in the comment section below.

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